Such a funny and horrific subject. My whole family is insane. Many a guest has been startled by their eccentricities. Me mother's sinister niceness. Me old man's brutal, working class violence and tendency to laugh at his own jokes by sticking his red, mad face in yours and laughing like Sid James. Me siblings (and my own) ability to say absolutely anything, often things that are completely taboo and out of order. Plus the fact that drugs were often used blatantly around the dinner table, as if they were legal and normal (they were normal for us). Also, me mum's house was filthy (I hadn't been aware till mates and girlfriends pointed it out to me), and appeared like a cross between a Chinese laundry and an old junk shop, often with so much crap about the place, you had a hard time finding somewhere to sit on the couch.
Me best mate's house was covered in a layer of dog hair, and his dad was an alcoholic. Both our dads were like characters from the Fast Show. "See this scar? I'm a survivor!" etc.
But going to girlfriend's family's for dinner was an interesting experience, as my terrible reputation always seemed to precede me. I'm schizophrenic, and I'm also a heroin addict. I was a criminal for most of me adult life n'all. I'm completely uneducated and left school with no qualifications. Everything I know is self-taught. I'm an autodidn'tact. But my girlfriends always seemed to be completely sane, well-educated girls, so their families were well unimpressed by me. Top that with the fact that I ain't unintelligent and am somewhat philosophical, I have a particularly unusual perspective on life, always at odds with society and acceptable thinking. Terrible rumours of my strange behaviour always seemed to have been discovered.
All these things made for awkward and weird situations. A favourite moment was, when I bent forward to pick something up and a syringe and blackened spoon fell out me jacket and landed at her mum's feet. It was one of her spoons n'all. Bless.
Thanks so much, Rob and wow, what a story! It has elements of the sitcom about it, especially the timing of her own spoon falling out at her feet. Also "terrible rumours of my strange behaviour always seemed to have been discovered" sounds like the opening to a great autobiography. My background is very middle class and ostensibly quite polite and proper - but my parents are severely evangelical Christians so there has been a lot of religion-themed emotional blackmail over the years. Not quite as dramatic, more melodramatic!
We're all strange in our various ways, and our families all have their eccentricities to varying degrees. I always ended up dating prim and proper girls (not sure how that happened), so you can imagine the situations. I once dated a girl at university just after I'd come out the madhouse. I was on so much medication, I had to stop taking it a few days to have sex, so by the time we were together, I was mad as a hatter! I'd be able to have sex, but was hallucinating, hearing voices, and paranoid. I have no idea what these women saw in me. All good lookers n'all.
I've been married for twenty-three years to a stunning woman who is educated and well-mannered. When I started dating her, I had no job, no prospects, no education, no work experience, I'd been off heroin six months, mad as hell, and just walked free from crown court facing five to ten years, all evidence against me (did I tell you I have powerful magic?), and I have no idea why she loves me. I couldn't even write. I never read a book before I left school and taught meself to read better and kept practicing until I could enjoy books. My wife taught me to use grammar, punctuation, paragraphs, and sentences age forty, so I could write stories (I'd always been creative and a storyteller, verbal), and two years later, I had books in Waterstones, on Audible, and everywhere!
Such a funny and horrific subject. My whole family is insane. Many a guest has been startled by their eccentricities. Me mother's sinister niceness. Me old man's brutal, working class violence and tendency to laugh at his own jokes by sticking his red, mad face in yours and laughing like Sid James. Me siblings (and my own) ability to say absolutely anything, often things that are completely taboo and out of order. Plus the fact that drugs were often used blatantly around the dinner table, as if they were legal and normal (they were normal for us). Also, me mum's house was filthy (I hadn't been aware till mates and girlfriends pointed it out to me), and appeared like a cross between a Chinese laundry and an old junk shop, often with so much crap about the place, you had a hard time finding somewhere to sit on the couch.
Me best mate's house was covered in a layer of dog hair, and his dad was an alcoholic. Both our dads were like characters from the Fast Show. "See this scar? I'm a survivor!" etc.
But going to girlfriend's family's for dinner was an interesting experience, as my terrible reputation always seemed to precede me. I'm schizophrenic, and I'm also a heroin addict. I was a criminal for most of me adult life n'all. I'm completely uneducated and left school with no qualifications. Everything I know is self-taught. I'm an autodidn'tact. But my girlfriends always seemed to be completely sane, well-educated girls, so their families were well unimpressed by me. Top that with the fact that I ain't unintelligent and am somewhat philosophical, I have a particularly unusual perspective on life, always at odds with society and acceptable thinking. Terrible rumours of my strange behaviour always seemed to have been discovered.
All these things made for awkward and weird situations. A favourite moment was, when I bent forward to pick something up and a syringe and blackened spoon fell out me jacket and landed at her mum's feet. It was one of her spoons n'all. Bless.
Thanks so much, Rob and wow, what a story! It has elements of the sitcom about it, especially the timing of her own spoon falling out at her feet. Also "terrible rumours of my strange behaviour always seemed to have been discovered" sounds like the opening to a great autobiography. My background is very middle class and ostensibly quite polite and proper - but my parents are severely evangelical Christians so there has been a lot of religion-themed emotional blackmail over the years. Not quite as dramatic, more melodramatic!
We're all strange in our various ways, and our families all have their eccentricities to varying degrees. I always ended up dating prim and proper girls (not sure how that happened), so you can imagine the situations. I once dated a girl at university just after I'd come out the madhouse. I was on so much medication, I had to stop taking it a few days to have sex, so by the time we were together, I was mad as a hatter! I'd be able to have sex, but was hallucinating, hearing voices, and paranoid. I have no idea what these women saw in me. All good lookers n'all.
I've been married for twenty-three years to a stunning woman who is educated and well-mannered. When I started dating her, I had no job, no prospects, no education, no work experience, I'd been off heroin six months, mad as hell, and just walked free from crown court facing five to ten years, all evidence against me (did I tell you I have powerful magic?), and I have no idea why she loves me. I couldn't even write. I never read a book before I left school and taught meself to read better and kept practicing until I could enjoy books. My wife taught me to use grammar, punctuation, paragraphs, and sentences age forty, so I could write stories (I'd always been creative and a storyteller, verbal), and two years later, I had books in Waterstones, on Audible, and everywhere!
I’m a little terrified to watch Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared, just from reading this, Rebekah! I love how subversive horror is.
Thanks Sheila! There’s a lot more to say about the way that the horror genre often sides with the underdogs and the oppressed…